Dreams

I wish there were definitive answers to what our dreams really mean. For the most part I feel like they’re nonsense, a jumble of things you may have given a passing thought to, or something you watched on television and forgot about. But sometimes I feel like there’s a lot more to it than we’ll ever know.

I’m usually not very involved with psychics, paranormal activities (although, I love watching shows about it, because it creeps me out, even though I don’t really believe in it), or pretty much anything to do with heaven/hell/spirits/reincarnation. But I’ve had one single experience in my life that made me wonder…

When my sister and I were younger we both woke up one morning talking about this dream that we had. The more we talked the more we realized all the similarities between our dreams. Both of us dreamt that we were in a train station in the 1800’s, both were in our 20’s, both wearing the proper attire that a woman in her 20’s would have been wearing back then. We basically had the same dream, but from different perspectives. More like a memory, hers from her perspective, mine from my own. I remember in the dream my sister was leaving me, and in my sisters dream she was boarding a train and her sister was there to see her off. Her dream ended with her leaving on the passenger train, mine with me leaving the train station. But I kind of floated up over the train station and had a birds eye view of her train as it was leaving. 

That is the only thing that I’ve personally experience in my life that’s made me wonder if there is such a thing as reincarnation, and if so what are the chances that your current family was also your family in your previous life? Would our memories from our past life come through to us in dreams? 

I do believe that we have the ability to control what we dream about, although I think it’s mostly subconscious. For example, so many people claim to see a tunnel with a light at the end when they’re experiencing near death, but I believe (and believe me, I’m no expert) that’s what they’ve trained their brain to expect, so they do see it. Or maybe they didn’t even see it, but have convinced themselves that they had. Or, on a more simple scale, sometimes if I’m talking about something right before going to sleep I will dream about that, but anytime I’ve ever spent time thinking about something before bed because I’ve wanted to dream about it, it hasn’t worked.

I guess I should end this here, because this is a topic I can ramble on for a very long time about, shooting off different idea or possibilities for what could mean what. It’s strange though that this does fascinate me, but I don’t ever look into what my dreams mean because I think all the interpreters out there, be it people or books, are just full of crap. I don’t think a dream can be properly interpreted, if it can be interpreted at all, without truly knowing the person who is having the dream. Not just knowing them in the way that we know our families and friends, but really knowing every single thing there is to know about that person, every single thought they‘ve ever had, every single thing they’ve ever experienced, and I don’t think it’s possible for anyone, after any length of time, to know another person that well. 

Can We Be Open?

I wonder if the way I feel about relationships now is because I’m finally jaded, or have I always felt this way? I have a hard time remembering what my opinion was 5 years ago (the last time I was single). I know I’ve never wanted kids, I know I’ve always said that I’d rather be neighbours than live with my partner. 


Something that has changed is that I’ve realized I don’t think I could spend the rest of my life with one person, I don’t think I felt that way before. I think I was naive, and waiting for “Mr. Right”, but to be fair I was only 21. The older I get the more I believe that sex plays a much larger role in a healthy, happy, long term relationship than most people, mainly women, care to admit. I am an average looking chubby woman in her mid-20’s and in the span of a month I had two men willing to cheat on their significant others to be with me, one was married, one engaged. Of course I didn’t do anything with them, I would never fool around with someone I knew was in a relationship, but it made me wonder. If the wives/girlfriends of these men were open to them being with other people, and willing to be with other people themselves, what would their relationships be like? Surely these men wouldn’t be creeping around behind their backs trying to get a lil’ extra action on the side. 


After about two years the sex in my last relationship got pretty boring. I’ve always been a highly sexual person and suddenly found myself uninterested, for the most part, in having sex with my significant other. I think the main reason was that nothing really ever changed, it was initiated in the same way every time, it was pretty much the same every time and it just grew boring. Don’t get me wrong, we still had some amazing times, but those were all when we did something out of the norm, like when we did it in the park downtown, or in the adult movie theatre in Toronto. Those times reminded me of how much I really did love sex, and how amazing it really could be. Which got me to thinking….


Is the key to a healthy, happy, long term relationship to be open? I loved my boyfriend (at the time) and really did enjoy spending time with him, but wanted to experience that sexual spark that you feel when you’re first with someone, the intensity behind the newness. I have spoken with so many people who are in long term relationships about how they feel about their sex lives, and a alarmingly high majority of them are not happy. The men want more sex, not only more sex but for their partners to be a lot more interested, to initiate a lot more. The women I’ve spoken to just seem completely uninterested, they see sex as a task that they have to give in to every now and then to make their partners happy. I know this isn’t the case in every relationship, but I think it’s pretty common. 


How would our relationships change if we all decided, and accepted, that it is completely possible to be madly in love with someone and want to spend the rest of your life with them, but still want to be able to experiment sexually with other people? If we were open and honest about our feelings, rather than going behind our partners backs in order to have our needs met? Why do so many people think that once you’re committed to someone you can no longer have a sexual attraction to anyone else? Why is it considered so bad for their to be a huge difference between sex, and love?